I have been watching the TV series Sex and the City for the first time. I was married before and never felt like seeing it then. Now I am a divorced thirty-something years old and I am identifying myself a lot with the ladies in the series and the questions they address. Being a writer put me in a “Carrie Bradshaw” mood, last night I got thinking about chemistry:

“Is it just women that are worried about chemistry? And shouldn’t the Universe guarantee that when you feel it with someone that person should feel it back?”

I believe in doing everything you can to get something you want, so being in search of a boyfriend (or three) I entered an internet dating site.

On the note of looking for multiple boyfriends that is because things usually move really slowly at the beginning of a relationship. You get worried about not appearing too eager, and the guys have their own thoughts and usually are not after you more than once a week. That is how my sisters and I decided the right number of boyfriends at the start is 3. Women of thirty-something get crazy for action as soon as we start a new relationship, it’s like we forget all about it while “on breaks” but once we remember how it is done, we want a lot of it.

With three options you could rotate them and short list to the best, when he gets as excited as you are, and prove he can be enough for you… It is just a theory for now. As soon as I get my own three I will tell you if it works.

So, about the internet dating: I joined this website and it is a funny thing how they start chatting with you and after six lines they ask you to come to their place, or offer to go to yours, for one hour of hot intercourse. I’m a very free spirited in bed, you could say I’m pretty and, of course, I chose hot pictures for my profile, but it gets me really worried that guys are willing to say : “I want to bed you” without even seeing me in person or getting excited with my writing at least! Six lines remember! And it is usually like that:

‘Hello.’

‘Hi.’

‘How are you?’

‘I’m good and you?’

‘I’m good. What are you up to?’

‘I’m in a cafe near my place chatting in the internet with you.’

‘Would you like to come to my place now? I wanna f… you.’

Seriously. You try and you will see that I’m not kidding. Of course I don’t want to go to his place, some don’t even have pictures in their profile! They continue saying they are cute, hot, fit, handsome, good in bed, that they give good head, that they know how to pleasure a lady and so on, no details, just general things that simply all of them say… What comes to my mind about them is what I think they should think about me too:

‘What if I had bad breath? Or had bad hygiene habits (bad smell)?’

‘If he looked at me and simply decided he didn’t want to f… me?’

‘What about that chemistry that you have by just looking at someone?’

This thing of meeting someone knowing he or she expects the night to finish in bed takes out the excitement for me. I tried it once and although the thing wasn’t bad in general, I didn’t feel good. I discovered I like “sex with attachments” and that means any one or more of these: chemistry, passion, love, fun, irresistibility (when you meet someone and has to go to the end no matter what), something!!!

I also think that when you look at someone and “feel it”, the chemistry, the little voice in your head saying “hummmm, interesting” this person should always feel the same way. What do you think?

Is it just women that are worried about chemistry? And shouldn’t the Universe guarantee that when you feel it with someone that person should feel it back?

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