Tag: love

Missing Parts

Published on by aphroditefatozLeave a comment

I’m a particular lover of good drama on TV. I mean shows with high production, strong story lines, and as far as possible from reality TV. I’m interested in reality and in TV, but not together.

I love when I go out with friends and I end up in this close conversation with a few (not many) friends and we go into intimate details of anything in their lives, how someone likes to cook naked, how they woke their partner up with a fart, how they felt when they conquered a new job.

And, as I said, I love a good TV show, well produced and designed. When I’m watching I often think of my own life and that — with today’s social realities — I have been missing “the conquest”. With more and more online dating these days, it has been rarer that you meet someone in your circle of people you know and things develop from there.

I have been sighing every time on TV, one character bumps into someone on the street and they have ‘the spark’. I’ve been missing the spark, the slow development of something, the falling for someone, the distraction and actions.

Then, something changes. Someone in one of my circles… something changes in their life and we see each other. Now I feel the flutter in my belly all day and the looks and smiles, and it is exactly what I had been desiring.

The funny part is that, from the first time I met this man, I have this image of him on my bed. The scene is very clear in my mind, I can smell the sex and feel the heat in the air. He is on a diagonal, naked, belly up, looking at me behind him, so he has his head bent back and is looking at me upside down. He is saying he can’t move a muscle.

Have I seen the future? Or have I been driving things to this conclusion… but I had no control over his previous situation, so no. Will it ever really happen?

The Wolf of my Dreams

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He was tall, much taller than me, which is not too difficult. This was a man whose head you could see above most of the others in the bar. He wasn’t skinny, something between thin and athletic. I wish I had paid more attention to his body, but I was riveted by his eyes… or his magnetism, or his face. Hard to say what took me in so profoundly.

This man I had never seen before and chances are I’ll never see again. He had black hair with at least half of it turning grey, it gave him character. Looking so well behaved, with his dark suit and infrequent smile, I could see him running naked on a snowed forest. What makes my mind conjure this image is the beast I see beneath his skin.

His eyes, they were light grey on the inside with a dark ring on the outside, like a wolf’s. I am one of these people that don’t remember faces very easily but his I can see if I close my eyes. His smile was sweeter than I would have expected by a kind a ferocious nature I attributed to him.

People were around him as if he was just another person, with their beers and conversation. Women not even looking, just a normal guy, and possibly one that was mildly good looking. But for me it was as if a demi-god was disguising himself among the mere mortals and put a spell around him to protect people from finding out the truth.  Except I could see through the spell his real nature. There are so many books about werewolves, vampires, fae and other fantastic creatures among us, that if they are real I am sure this man was one of them, some kind of special.

I have my doubts that he himself knows what he is, maybe he is unaware of his true nature, like so many of us.  I know my true nature, I am one that sees and empathically feels the world around me. I wish that one day I can feel the embrace of someone like my grey eyed man around me…

What could I have done? Other than giving him the opportunity to talk to me? It is a trap this thing of looking for a man who is strong and has initiative in a shy society like the one I have chosen.  If I had approached him I would have destroyed the possibility of letting him be the hunter, be the strong masculine figure, forever. If there is justice in the Universe and he is the man I think he is, our paths will cross again and the chance will be there, intact.

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