Spanish Challenge

As I finish the manuscript for final editing I’m simmering with sensual energy. I’ve awakened the kundalini energy and it’s devouring me. 

I feel as if I’ve jumped out of an airplane, no parachute. If the awakened sexual dragon doesn’t hold me, I’ll fall. If magic doesn’t come out, the wings do not manifest out of my bones, tearing through my skin, mid-flight, and quickly, I’ll splash on the pavement way below and it’s quickly approaching.

But you know what? Sparks of magic are coming, the wind is kind of bearing me, giving indications that maybe, just maybe, I may have been a bit less insane than I thought, at the moment of the jump.

There were some dances recently, particularly with a Spanish man, so much younger, and yet, so powerful in sensuality. Bloody Latin blood. The spell turned against the caster, hard to say who was spelling who.

At the end of the night he killed me, I killed him. I missed a step I would never have missed on normal circumstances, I was lost in his eyes and smile. Bloody Latin smile.

He passed his fingers lightly on the palm of my hands, during the dancing. That’s not normally done. Never before.

He used the dirtiest tricks, trapped my neck in turn twists, my leg between his, traced every single movement across my arms, my waist, my neck, my shoulders. He trapped my gaze, and I didn’t shy away, never. 

I felt him getting happier in between us. He had to create some space between our bodies at a point, for some turns for a while until he got some control back.

There is one thing an older dancer like me has is spades: experience to follow every lead, so whatever movement he was thinking of leading, I was already following, except for the one I missed for being lost in the smile and beautiful greenish eyes.

There is one thing a single, older, dancer doesn’t have at all: shame. No shame to get closer, no sense of proprietness, no shyness, no uncomfortableness, no embarrassment of the effects she may cause (instead a certain sense of pride and reality that there are consequences to certain actions).

We danced the first time and I thought it would be the only one, with so many pretty little things on the dance floor for him to chose from. But he kept coming back to me… and for five glorious songs through the night we tortured each other to the point of ignition. 

I was leaving, one feet still clad in dance shoes, one changed into walking shoes when he stopped me begging for a last song.

So I changed back, the shoe into dance shoes.

We had a few accords of the slow song, it was excruciating pleasure. A rebelion of senses. Tantalising beyond endurance. Then the song ended before it started.

‘One more, one more’ we begged each other.

‘Otherwise it wasn’t even worth changing the shoes’ I said.

‘I think it was worth it’ he said.

The warmth burning me agreed.

The next song wasn’t slow.

‘I like the other song better’ he said.

The music came and went too quickly. And then, I left. I wonder if I’ll ever see him again and what will happen if I do. If anything.

He is burnt in my mind. His heat is keeping me afloat, mid-air. 

But it’s precarious, very. He is an illusion, maybe a figment of my imagination, maybe a being from another dimension that crossed over but once.

What am I to do with all this draconic energy? How am I going to survive?

Young Buck’s Death by Dancing

I inhale his scent, his warmth, his youth, his deliciousness and know that for a few seconds I’m facing no one, so I can close my eyes in the wrongness of this rapture.
His body is against mine, in a vertical expression, as the music sings that if dying of love is possible, of it, I shall die.
This isn’t love, oh no, with this young buck, this is not exactly lust either.
It’s a sensual profound desire to show him the heights of pleasures I could take us to… Ah he could be so green.
But he moves with me in perfect harmony, the hips sway in absolute enticement, the hands keeping me captive, one on my back; the other keeps my right hand on his heart, I can feel it, the drumming against my palm, the soft touch of his palm against the back of my hand. And then he turns us and I face the crowd, the other dancers, no longer safe, no longer, my face is hidden from judgement.
I open my eyes to pretend it’s a normal dance, that he isn’t killing me, that there isn’t a dragon perched behind my neck, full fletched wings, the spam of three worlds opened, breathing fire over us.
Burning me, killing me, I’m falling.

Taste of “Rule of Ten”

He rested his forehead on mine and with the tip of one finger in each hand traced down my arms, a light touch until he reached my hands and interlaced his fingers with mine.
We stood like that, breathing heavily, number nine and I, for a while, his nose resting lightly on mine, eyes closed, breathing each other’s air. Letting the moment sink in, getting to experience each other’s skin, scent, energy. I felt his body through every point of contact, his thigh against mine, his belly against mine, his fingers in between mine, the velvet of his skin forearm with forearm. The heat radiating between us.
Our inhaling and exhaling matching, intensifying, deepening.
Then he moved his face and went for my mouth and his tongue danced with mine. We travelled to the centre of the Earth in those moments, before the door was opened and we were interrupted.

This is little taste of “Rule of Ten” a book that will come out at Amazon in the next couple of months, comment if you like it, so I know I’m on the right path.

Awakened Dragon’s Value Statement

I am a hell of a Woman, and I am a great catch, so stop expecting me to give you all before you prove your value. Something happened these days, with the availability of online dating that it feels like most men think that just because we are there at all, they don’t have to offer anything and should be given everything, at the ask of a phone number.

No. I am a hell of a woman, prove to me you are better than my solitude, and you shall receive my divine contact number.

I am not a perfect twenty-year-old body anymore. Instead, I am a goddess at the height of their power, a 48 year-old stepping into power, and very well put together.
I have the wisdom and experience to carry my baggage with lightness and grace.
I am productive within world chaos and can keep my bearings inside personal storms. I am intelligent and independent, and although I am not rich, there is a good chance fortune will find me some day, or not. What I already have is quality of life enough. I have a mission, and I know where I am going in life, and what I want from it, which is way above average.
Other than chocolate and coffee I don’t have other vices.
I’m reasonably sane and intensely heterosexual, and understand that for most men that might be a detractor, also I’m also intensely honest, painfully so.
I can cook, I can write, I can dance, really.
As modern philosopher Joey Tribbiani would say “what’s not to like it?”
On top of all, my Kundalini, is not a puppy dog, it’s a Goddess Dragon, mature, fully grown, awakened after a long hibernation, into new golden skin, free of yearnings and false hopes, expectations, and need for validation.
When the dragon stretches her wings and soars, the fire consumes and burns… my sexual energy is vital and pure.
In the past, when people asked me “but why are you single for so long?” a great sadness would settle on my shoulders, as if it was my failure to secure the elusive eligible bachelor, and I hadn’t been up to the task.
Now the dragon laughs “because, the knight deserving of the treasure hasn’t come along in this time!” They come, and they want to plunder. They want the gold, like thieves in the night. They forgot about honour, and value, and proving themselves.
I have kindness in my heart, and so much love ready to be offered, like piles and piles of precious stones and a hall of treasures, to the one that breaks the spell. All he needs, is to be worthy.

Missing Parts

I’m a particular lover of good drama on TV. I mean shows with high production, strong story lines, and as far as possible from reality TV. I’m interested in reality and in TV, but not together.

I love when I go out with friends and I end up in this close conversation with a few (not many) friends and we go into intimate details of anything in their lives, how someone likes to cook naked, how they woke their partner up with a fart, how they felt when they conquered a new job.

And, as I said, I love a good TV show, well produced and designed. When I’m watching I often think of my own life and that — with today’s social realities — I have been missing “the conquest”. With more and more online dating these days, it has been rarer that you meet someone in your circle of people you know and things develop from there.

I have been sighing every time on TV, one character bumps into someone on the street and they have ‘the spark’. I’ve been missing the spark, the slow development of something, the falling for someone, the distraction and actions.

Then, something changes. Someone in one of my circles… something changes in their life and we see each other. Now I feel the flutter in my belly all day and the looks and smiles, and it is exactly what I had been desiring.

The funny part is that, from the first time I met this man, I have this image of him on my bed. The scene is very clear in my mind, I can smell the sex and feel the heat in the air. He is on a diagonal, naked, belly up, looking at me behind him, so he has his head bent back and is looking at me upside down. He is saying he can’t move a muscle.

Have I seen the future? Or have I been driving things to this conclusion… but I had no control over his previous situation, so no. Will it ever really happen?